I've made the executive decision to start posting about the moste amusinge thingse that happen to me at work, because really, these gems should not go to waste. Particularly because it is only a matter of time before I make a clean dissociative break and start living under the name Shanequa D'nt Liveherenomo on my yacht in the Mediterranean, and FORGET THEM ALL! What a loss to all humanity that would be. A great and terrible tragedy, indeed.
SO. Today at work the following things happened to me, which helped me live up to one of my life goals. Specifically, to live by the song lyrics of Lady Gaga songs. You know, as they make so much sense and all. In this instance, a little ditty called Poker Face comes to mind.
CASE IN POINT:
- A mother and son duo chose to have a moste serious discipline conversation about said sons overdue fines while checking out, effectively making me the uncomfortable third party. Why do you do that parents? I mean, come on. Not cool.
- A lively lad of approximately 10 minced about the library wearing a skunk-skin cap for approximately an hour. Yep. SKUNK-SKIN CAP. Upon check out, he stashed his videos in his Lady Grace plastic bag. Lady Grace, you guys. POKER FACE. Can I adopt you, awesome kid?
- While his mum was checking out, a young lad of about three decided to tell me that he really needed to change his pants. Well, I needed to change my face. Thank you to Lady Gaga, I'm 99.9% sure that he couldn't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face. In fact, I'm pretty sure homeboy can't read at all.
Need I mention it was a full moon? Because I just did.