So, 50 Cent is writing a book. A book about bullying. A book titled Playground. Yeah, you read that correctly. EW has a three chapter preview up for your reading perusal. I'm going to assume by the title page that he is...somewhat affiliated? Not because he can't write. In fact, I bet if he did more of the writing it'd sound a million times better, and I'd probably be about to make less fun of it. But the voice? It's a bit White lady trying to sound like a teenage Black boy. Insert huge eye rooooollll. I hope the book gets better in chapter 4. Here's what you need to know:
- It is about bullying. I'm going to guess about how one becomes a bully. Since that's what Fiddy tells us in his intro.
- It is "partially autobiographical," which leads me to wonder why they didn't use the term semi-autobiographical. Are they different? Is this wordplay? Am I overthinking?
- The protagonist is a 13-year-old boy named Butterball from Garden City, NJ. Except I only learned that he was 13 from reading the EW preface blurbage, not the book, unless I missed something.
- In fact, I spent a solid few minutes while reading it trying to figure out how old this Butterball character is. Because...how old could they be if they are hanging out on a playground during school, and then talking about getting invited to a coed party? The party part pegs them at at least middle school, since there is a solid no boys at girls party (and vice versa) cootie rule from second to sixth grade. Everyone knows that. It's just science. But then again, what middle school still has a playground? Or recess?
- Another thing has me confused in the first three chapters. Initially, you think the bully may be Maurice. But you'd be a fool, despite the tricksy fat-kid mislead, because what bully is named Maurice? Maurice is Belle's dad in Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Everyone knows that. It's just science! Craaaazy old Maurice! Moreover, what kind of bully named Maurice sits on the swings by himself reading a book? Clearly, it is Butterball, he of the rotund, Thanksgiving association. And he of the sock filled with D-batteries that he beats the stuffing out of Maurice on the confusing playground. See what I did there? This book is so written by a White lady.
- It has illustrations. Much like The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian. Clearly Razorbill has a target audience.
- I should add that I like that the topic is bullying from the bully's POV; it's not something you'd expect from a celebrity author. Snaps on that account.
- This is now about as long as the exerpt.