|Oh hello book cover of a children's classic|
that will terrify the target audience!
Anne of Green Gables
by L.M. Montgomery
by L.M. Montgomery
Anne of Green Gables starts disappointingly. Especially if you are say, an orphan who thinks she’s found a home finally, or some elderly siblings thinking they are adopting a boyslave to take care of the farm. In a move totally questionable when reviewed using modern standards, or say, common sense, eleven year old Anne has been sent by herself on a train to be left at a rural stop, and picked up by a slightly squirrelly (but eventually loveable) older dude. Does this seem shady to anyone else? Because it seems like old timey Dateline, “To Catch A Predator” to me. On the ride to Green Gables, Anne immediately lets fly her flag o’crazy, to let the good but boring people of Avonlea know the funparade has arrived. Naturally, despite the initial dismay on Marilla’s part, and the hiding amongst the cows on Matthew’s part to avoid hard conversations after stating his opinion to stay (he could, in a less endearing portrait, be a character in Cold Comfort Farm), Anne stays. I mean, would we have a book otherwise?
Anne immediately gets to both winning our hearts with her story of sorrow before arriving at Green Gables, and to inadvertently and charmingly stirring things up. Anne is our tiny, redheaded, epic daydream that breaks up the monotony of rural, regular life at Green Gables for Marilla and Matthew, and many others, and thusly us. Who would want to read about going to church picnics or bringing in the cows or serving tea to the minister? It’s so much more fun with a new, slightly excitable set of eyes to be our guide, get our best friend drunk, or make poor decisions with hair-dye.
Anne’s best highjinks are listed in that last sentence. I mean…drunk people are funny, but getting another little girl drunk, not realizing it, and then sending her home to her Tiger Mother? Well played, Anne. Having an adolescent moment of wanting to change yourself and dying your hair with the questionable hair-dye? How is this a perfectly timeless moment (sponsored by Clorox and Koolade these days – go to the hairdresser unless you want bad things to happen to your good hair, you kids). Runner up for great moment? Anne and Diana jumping on mean old Aunt Barry. Tie for giving and receiving a heart attack, and for vivid childhood memories of slumber parties.