Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Case of the Terribles: How to Dress Your Man For Summer

It's been so long since I've case of the terribled you.  But that's just because I've been locked in a bunker, researching for weeks, obvi.  After hours of deep Internet research and thought, I've come up with three really fantastic looks for summer for the dudes reading this out there.  There's no way you won't turn heads in this, I give you my guarantee.  

For your Suit:  

Let's talk about this suit you can buy on Amazon for $1500 (a statement which bears questioning even before price is thrown in), which may be designed to catch a summer breeze and turn heads.  Snazzy looking, right?

STOP. DO NOT PASS GO.  Zoom out.  

You would think for $1500 they could at least throw in a floor length cut.  And don't worry, there's also an option just to get the pants. They're a steal at $535!

For your Hipster: 
For many men, balding is complication...to having a bangin' man bun.  
But fear not! 
You can buy your own clip on for the low, low price of $10 on Groupon, marked down from $65.34.  Sadly, brown is sold out, but that's nothing some hair die can't fix.

For your Suits suit: 
Probably you're going to need a shirt to go under that sweet new suit.  
Might I suggest a mesh number?  Nothing, nothing, says practical like a man in a mesh shirt but not in a beach theme nightclub. It is his nod to society, his "I don't need to wear one but no shirt no shoes no service, so here'sssssss Johnnnny('s nipples)!" 

JUST NO to all of these.  (But incidentally, playing count the man-bun is a surprisingly amusing way to pass an afternoon festival, an activity I strongly recommend.)

PS.  I think my favorite thing is the set of directions on the Manbun page:

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